Resurrected Hair

People often notice that I do not cut my hair and the first thing they usually ask is why? Some have many opinions and declare I am in a cult and I am brainwashed into doing so while others are simply so fascinated that I do have such long hair. It has become a trademark I am known by and well I must admit, I am proud to hold true to Biblical principals on this matter! It was not easy though...again I say IT WAS NOT EASY!. I want to share what I call my Heavenly Hair Testimony and give understanding to those who think I do not think for myself anymore. For those who know me, you know how opinionated I am and have nothing to worry about! I will say that I am trying not to be so lengthy in my writings because I know this is not my autobiography, but I do not want to miss any points that can explain this part of my walk with God. I will be transparent with you and only ask that you comment with love and do not try and hurt me over what God has done for me. I do understand that this is one of the most controversial topics of the Bible and am in no way saying it is Heaven or Hell, that is for you to seek God for in your life. To me, there is no other way! So are you ready? Here we go!

It all began when I first met Chad. I worked at Waffle House and loved to meet so many different people from all walks of life. I did my best to leave an impression on everyone I served and made it my desire to remember names, faces and situations. I wanted them to feel as special as they were. Sometimes I was intimidated by some of the people that came in, but before the meal was over, we shared experiences that would change my life, but none compeled me like the impact Chad made. For three months, every Saturday night, he and his cousin would come to eat after being out to clubs. I would wait on them and we did not talk much at first but one night I put some loose change in the jukebox and we struck up a conversation that I can remember like yesterday. We compared music and then out of the blue he asked me how long my hair was. I thought to myself that I have now encountered some freak that is socially disturbed! He could not tell the length of my hair at the time because of the little black head scarves we wore as our uniform. I looked at him and all I could say was well if you come back next week you will see! At that time it was just long enough to pull in a tiny ponytail, with some side pieces falling towards my face. I thought about that for a whole week, not understanding his reasoning. This was in December of 2005 and we began dating in January. It was a few years later before I even understood.

Lesson on Submission

This world has changed the mindset of women all around. I am not against women have some independence but the Bible does speak about submitting to your husband, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing Ephesians 5:22-24. We should love our husbands so much to desire to be under the protection of submission. This day and time has convinced women that they can make it without the man and many times women find submission hard because they can not trust that the man has her best interests at heart as he leads them though life. With premarital sex on the rise and other forms of sin that we are now desensitized to, many women have lost trust altogether and than when she marries, she has herself in a situation that she can not fully control anymore. When one has been damaged by the lack of trust in the past, she has a hard time submitting. Now the Bible continues to say, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: Ephesians 5:25-29. If the man is loving his wife as Christ loves the church and as himself, he will care, nourish, and cherish her. This is not giving him the authority to abuse, neglect or dictate her every move. He is the head of the home and was given this authority by God Himself. Together you work out the plan that best suit you and nowhere does it say that the woman has to bow to him or do ever thing he demands from her. Like our relationship with God, so should our relationship with our spouse. Not one sided and selfish. God has to keep us in check and many times will do so through he man, since he is next in the chain of command. This does not imply we do not hear from God, but face it ladies we are so vulnerable at times and our emotions can rule us and allow for insubordination to kick in, as well as stubbornness and rebellion! We need to first understand, God wants to protect us and He does this by telling the women to be submissive to her husband and not over rule his judgment. There is reason for this and the Bible clearly states it, For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 1 Timothy 2:13-14. God keeps order and so should we. A man that is serving God is easy to submit to and God would not have it any other way!

I said all that to give a general understanding to the Biblical meaning of submission. It is not a horrible word the world deems it to be. I said all that to say this, it looks good on paper, but is not as easy as it looks! What does this have to do with hair you are wondering, well everything! It was in 2007 that Chad began talking to me about the Apostolic Pentecostal faith and his mom would come visit and she would always talk about not cutting hair. They would try so hard to explain things to me but I learned over time that some things only God can explain! I was not one to submit to any authority and trust me I am still daily having to ask God to help me to fully submit. Chad had asked me a few times to not cut my hair and I fought him like it was a demeaning thing for him to ever ask of me. My attitude stunk and I told him there would be no way in this world he was gonna tell me what to do. It is my hair and I will do what I want with it. I would purposefully cut it to rebel against him. He had showed me the scripture on it and I still could not see it. 1 Corinthian 11 specifically says, But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered? Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering. I was not understanding what this meant and so I continued ignoring his wish. Now granted, my hair at this point had now reached a bit below my shoulder but after one last request from him about not cutting it, I asked for money and made the appointment and decided I was chopping it off! A month prior I had dyed it to nearly black and now I was headed to get it permed and cut!

The Day of Conviction

I arrived early for my appointment, which was in July, and was so excited because it had been years since I had a perm! My last hair cut was in March of 2008 and my mission was to come out super sexy with my hair transformed and to show Chad that I can do what I want. I had no idea he had been praying for me to have a change of heart. I helped pick out the size rollers I wanted for the perm and sat in the chair and laughed with the ladies. The girl doing my hair I had known from school and I was talking about my husband and his faith and she began telling me she had met our pastor and he had given a few other ladies some Bible Studies. As we chatted I began to feel nervous. I had the Holy Ghost and as the girl picked up the scissors I began to feel a type of fear come over me. It was the fear of the Lord and I loudly said NO. I can not have you cut my hair. She looked at me a bit weird but placed the scissors down and went on to do the perm. I sat there confused and had no idea what really happened. We did not talk about it, but I can say, when she and the ladies were talking about those Bible studies and the way this man and his wife were, it was like the word of God pricked my heart. It was not the scriptures in 1 Corinthians that hit me, but it was the ones I had read about submitting to your husband that I remembered! See we were not married yet, but had children and knew we needed to make it right in Gods eyes. I knew one day he was going to be my husband and I had to do some soul searching to line up with Gods word. I did get the perm and went home to tell Chad all that happened.

The Miraculous

One night at a Bible study, sometime late July or early August, I heard the ladies talking about hair and I asked questions and was still not getting answers. I told them of my conviction and they rejoiced with me but I am not one that can follow through things unless I fully understand. My hair was so damaged from the perm and I was losing hair and was really considering getting all the perm and dye cut out anyway. I had not understanding so surely it would be best to make it look better. Yes that is what I was going to do, I thought before I left the Bible Study, but I heard the pastors daughter talking about praying for her hair. Who ever heard of such stuff! It is just hair, but she spoke with enthusiasm about how she asked God to stop the growth because it was as long as she wanted and He did. This intrigued me. I went home that night and ran some bath water and told Chad I was going to study. I took my Bible and soaked in the tub. I was in there singing and and praying as I read the Word. I did this about every time I took a bath, it was like my prayer closet. I was washing my hair and more was falling out and I cried out to God about it. I simply said, God I have read it over and over and do not understand, but I have ruined my hair. the chemicals I put on it out of rebellion have damaged it and I do not know what to do. Lord if you just show me and give me a sign then i promise you I will never cut my hair ever again, but God I want to cut all this mess out of it so bad. How can I undo the damage I did to it? I began praying over my hair and telling God that Chad does not want me to cut it but something in me wants to. Just show me Lord!

When I woke Chad was looking at my funny. He asked what I did to my hair and not knowing what he meant I went to the bathroom. Never have I ever seen anything like this! My hair was natural. All the damage was gone. I mean there was no perm, no color and even more amazing I had under growth that measured six inches! My hair grew six inches over night!. There was no faded line from where the hair color was darker or lighter for that matter. It was amazing! All the frizz was gone and my hair was thicker than before. I had my all natural hair back! I could not believe it and kept running back to the mirror to check again. God gave me a sign and even though I did not understand completely, I now knew why is Chad asked about my hair in the beginning. It is simply a God thing and he wanted to have a woman who would be willing to let go of society's normal and become Gods extraordinaire! God reminded me of the scripture, it is YOUR glory and you are the glory of the man! God let me know that I should have listened to Chad long ago and I am to show my submission to him by having long hair! It is one of the greatest testimonies of my life. Do I understand now? Maybe not as much as I desire, but I am studying more and more and although I can not sit and manipulate the scripture to meet any certain need, but I do know that God showed Himself in a mighty way that man can not imitate and I take great joy and pleasure in knowing He heard my cry. I do believe that the hair is a representation of submission to authority and I do know that many will argue this until the coming of Christ, but I will tell you, there is power with having such glory! Nothing can change what I feel about it and no matter the ridicule I get from those who seem to think I am brainwashed, I will keep my vow to God! So here you have it, my testimony and I do hope you understand that I do not serve a dead God, but one that is alive! If he is willing to 'resurrect' damaged hair, how much more do you think He is willing to do for you?!

Optimism in Offense

This is not going to be one of my better posts, but it is something that needs to be discussed. We often do not realize the things we say or our actions can be offensive to some. In the society we are in, rebellion and stubborness has dominated the self control and wisdom we should be using in our daily walk. I wanted to see how people react to offense and they would respond. I decided to do a some what experiment to observe this and I was very surprised and disappointed at the results. I had about 1,005 friends at the time, so here I am going to use my so called statistics, give or take a bit. I would say out of the 1,005 friends that 100 are faithful 'commenters' and 'likers'. I would say another 20 are the random ones that pop up when I have that fantastically funny post making me think to myself, 'Oh, I forgot we are friends'. I would also guess that there are at least 20 that never make their presence known, but do read my posts and glean from it.  Let's not leave out the stalkers on Facebook! I would say there are maybe 10 that are a mix of my friends and those who are not my friends that everyday has to see what I am 'stirring' up for that day! So just roughly speaking, I have about 150 people viewing my updates and I would say out of the 150 that at least 50 are Holy Ghost filled, baptized in Jesus name, and study the Bible daily, another 50 claim to be in church but are lead by false doctrine, never received the Holy Ghost or been baptized in Jesus name, but have read some Bible readings, 40 say they are Christians but do not know what the Holy Ghost is or baptism and do not own a Bible. The last 10 I would say are of another religion. Now remember these are not 100 % accurate but this is what I would guestimate! Now that you know this, let's move on with this post.

I have a very wonderful friend, Jeanne, whom I had spent some years in school with. We sang in chorus together, shared many classes together, walked home from school together and even spent some time together outside of school functions. I remember bumping heads with her on many occasions because we both are very strong willed individuals. It was never really a situation of rights and wrongs but more or less we both had high expectations and wanted anything we accomplished to be the very best it could possibly be! I have been around her enough to know her likes and dislikes, although we may not have considered each other best friends, but we are friends. She is a young Black American who is a single parent and works hard to accomplish things in her life. I have seen her reap joys as well as sadness over the years and yet she has never used her color as an excuse to anything but she does deem herself a successful woman. Not Black woman, but simply woman. She also stands firm against prejudice and racism and this may sound absurd in 2012, but the ugly truth is that it is still there. It is not always a black and white thing but predjudice attacks against religion, other nationalities, rich against poor, and I have seen some ugly U of K and U of L battles!

I had posted a common stereotypical joke about the black/African Americans and I knew it was inappropriate. I knew it would ruffle feathers, including Jeanne's, but I posted anyway to see the response. I was in complete shock and horror of the outcome. Now, I received this joke from my husbands family, which is black, and even received messages from them saying this joke is no issue, but to my friend it was degrading and unethical. Here is the horrible truth of the post, 90% of the people who actually 'liked' this Facebook post, were of the Apostolic faith. Something that was so wrong, these people were liking and not one of them, including the church family I resided with, even said to me that it is inappropriate and could offend someone. The other 10% were those not in a church at all. Now we claim to have all the truth of Gods word, yet I noticed we were the first to make a laugh at something so offensive. What does this say about us? There is a sister in the church I started in that would go around saying, "nigga fix me some chicken." One time this sister in that church requested prayer for a lady of the community that 'stinks' real bad. I finally took a stand and told her it needed to stop because these things offend others and what are we going to do when we have these people come to a so called place of refuge, and yet the be ran out for such conversations. So many people are so ignorant to ethics and so we as Christians should not fear correcting them. I remember talking to my sister and one thing that irritates her is when people call every Spanish speaker, a Mexican. She would get so upset and she never hesitated to correct someone! She proudly took a stand against peoples ignorance and she would break it down, you have some from Mexico, which are Mexicans, you have Spanish speakers from Guatemala which are called Guatemalans, and you have some from Spain, which is appropriately called Spaniards. She did not care the reaction from them she just wanted them to know that not everyone that speaks that language would be called Mexican!  Now I asked Jeanne, the appropriate term for the black americans and she said, "well Emily, you are going to offend someone either way on this." Some prefer Black Americans others prefer African Americans. In all reality, they are Americans. Many have never been birthed in Africa so to me this is wrong to mention them as African Americans, but some will argue that they are not black either. So, I said all this to say, I am sorry if I offend you for classifying you in a category separate from the White peoples, that is not my intent, but trust me after this post, I am consciously aware and shall make a better effort to not see the difference of our skin.

Now here is a cold hard truth. God wants everyone saved. The Bible says in 2 Peter 3:9, The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. You see God extends love to everyone and it is our place to have the same kind of love. People we come in stinkin, and of different skin tones, tattoos from head to toe, hair is a mess, and they do not dress like us, or they are addicts who has lost teeth and look diseased and I tell you one thing God does not care how they come as long as the do find the altar of repentance! If we as the church can not get out of our carnality and accept the sinner as the sinner we once were, then we will never have growth. I recently have been placed in a situation that has turned my world upside down and have lost trust in the very ones the Bible declares we should have trust in. Why? Offense. Every time this person would feel attacked or offended, instead of grace, he did what ever to take the heat off him and place on someone else. Instead of mediating situations, he threw you under a bus because he is still in a major state of carnal thinking. Offense comes easily from people in this mind set. It is our job to try not to allow the offense hinder us. We should always remember that we too will be offended and hurt, but need to be ready to forgive even those who hurt us. Let us not make the same mistakes that the ones before us have made, lets learn from them instead, and lead our people into forgiveness and grace. I vow to be an example.

What does the Bible actually say about offending others? Below I have taken the liberty to list scriptures for you to study out all on your own. I will say this, I can not say I will not offend anyone ever again in my life because sometimes offense happens unaware, but the Bible says we are go to them whom we feel has a problem with us. We need to mature in Gods word and do everything within our power to not hurt or offend anyone. Sometimes even if we are right we should just keep it to ourselves and let Jesus do the work in others lives. The Bible says... Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. James 3:9-10. I would rather be a blessing than a curse and God would rather us compel people to Him instead of pushing them away. Please take the time and study this and understand that our attitude of the spirit we are being driven by will produce good or bad fruit. Sometimes we just have to make our knowledge known and we have to be right even when it hurts others. Think to yourself before you speak, is there any possible way this will hurt someone? And by all means, if you do trip up and say something wrong, go and make it right. You see out of all my Facebook friends and I have over 1,000, Jeanne was the only one who took a stand. I BELIEVE she would have taken the same stand even if she were of a lighter skin tone. It is the good in her that does so. She was hurt by it and when I realized my 'experiment' was causing damage, I immediately messaged her and she then knew I was not as heartless as that post sounded. You know what that post did in all reality, besides hurt a dear friend? It caused me to lose my witness to some many others who never spoke out. Even as an experiment, it was still damaging. Words can not be retrieved after being tossed out there and trust is nearly impossible to recover. Let us be aware and act more like Jesus. Let us find optimism in our offense and turn a bad thing into a good, Godly thing!


1 Corinthians 9:19-23  Romans 14:1  Matthew 18:15  1 John 3:17  Romans 5:6-8  John 4:9  Matthew 18:6  1 Corinthians 9:19-23  Romans 14:1  Matthew 18:15  1 John 3:17  Romans 5:6-8  John 4:9  Matthew 18:6


Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence. It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak. Romans 14:19-21 

Sevanthood

How many people you know that has a servants heart? I mean one that truly will do anything to help another out? I was reminded today of Gods provision on the faithful. Today I am reflecting on servant hood and praying to be more like Christ in this matter. Here is a true story about my husband serving his family and a Pastor serving his (little flock). We just moved and were so pressed for money that my husband did everything to give me and the girls what we needed, and I was too selfish to even notice the hole in the bottom of his work boots! He went to our pastors house for a meeting and our pastor noticed when Chad had crossed his legs. It was winter time and he works outside most of the time, and while they were conversing the pastor began removing his NEW boots and giving them to Chad to place on his feet! I cried as Chad told me he felt the warmth from where my pastor wore them! Now I do not know the shoe brand but what I do know is when there is a need and you can fill it, the cost of things do not matter. I have heard many people say they would give me the shirt off their backs, but if asked I promise they would think twice about it. Why? Because it costs money and although they may give me the shirt they bought at the Dollar Store, I guarantee they would not wanna give up the shirt they bought from the mall! The Bible says, ♥Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: FOR WHERE YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE WILL YOUR HEART BE ALSO.♥ Matt 6:19-21 You see, money should not be the thing that define us and we can have all the riches in the world and still not be content, but when you serve each other with humility and you are willing to give away to someone in need rather than be selfish and hoard it all for yourself, then you are truly wealthy! Our pastor was laying treasures up in Heaven when he took and gave to his brother in Christ! ♥ Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour PREFERRING one another ♥ Romans 12:10 

Cold Winters and Popped Clutches

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1

January 17, 2012

Aah...a few days of snow sure brings the season together. Ground was covered beautifully with snow and salt trucks were out performing their seasonal purpose. Sitting in with warm tea and wrapped in a fleece blanket just seemed to add to the comfort of knowing this season will soon pass as it does every year. Kids laughing and begging to play outside just set the mood for reminiscing. I thought about so many things in two whole days. It is truly fascinating what the human mind can store and replay at any given moment! I remembered playing outside with my sister Ashley in our my Little Pony snow suits and I remembered making snow angels with my eldest blood brother, Charlie. I thought about how, on Brashears Creek, where my grandparents lived, that Jason, Ashley, and I would climb up the 'bluff' behind the house just to get a huge icicle from the tip top of it! Now for those who do not know, the 'bluff' was a pretty steep embankment that went, what seemed, forever high! To children, we were literally climbing a mountain! We could have taken the weather any way it was given, our only complaint was not being able to play longer in it!

A few days ago, as the snow fell, I had to travel about 20 minutes away to pick up my husband from work. The girls were with a relative so it was just me and the Lord in the car. I had been thinking on something and was not paying attention and went around a curve just a wee bit too fast. It only spun the rear of the car around a little! Nothing too serious and it was so minute that I actually giggled a bit, thinking to myself, 'that was fun.' Yes, the old so called 'redneck' had resurfaced just for a moment! I began thinking of all the times some friends would gather together and we would go do doughnuts in slightly iced fields and how we would get stuck and panic wondering if the police would catch us this time! (remember this was BC...before Christ).Then, as I continued my travel to get Chad, I thought about the time my brother Charlie was coming home from the Iraqi war and all my grandpa seemed to think about was the driveway needing to be shoveled so my brother could make it to the top. So on my birthday that year, I shoveled the driveway, just so he would not have to walk any further than he had to. I think I put down about 6 bags of salt! I remember having to drive to Tractor Supply for more salt and got there only to hear they were out. So I went back and shoveled some more. I made sure the drive was clear, the steps were clear and the porch was clear. I was not mad that I did it, but I do remember thinking to myself, he better realize how much I love him. Truth is, I don't think he ever knew I did that. When he came home and we seen he was safe, the driveway did not seem to matter.

Another thought came to me about my brother Jason. I was sitting in an apartment he lived in and he came in saying he needed my help. His car would not start and was left in a parking lot not to far from there and he needed me to come help him. We get there and I am sure he was tired, cold and aggravated but he was determined that car was going to start! He said, 'okay you get behind and push.' Here it had been snowing and there was all this nasty slush on the ground and the temperature felt like 20 below and he says to push his little Nissan. Oh the things sisters do for their brothers! I pushed from behind and he had the driver door open and pushing with me then as we picked up some speed he jumps in to pop the clutch. I think we did this twice and the car started. I kept thinking to myself, he just had better know how much I love him! I had to walk a good piece back to my truck and once I got there out of the weather, it didn't seem to matter.

I knew both my brothers loved me even though they had not shown it or even though I did not get the recognition I had wanted. I just knew. Here I was almost pulling in to get Chad and the Lord says to me... "I have many times pushed and shoveled the things out of my children's way and I seldom get the appreciation for it. I am the Lord thy God and I am forgotten among these people. So many claim to love and know me but they do not see me there protecting them from possible life threatening situations. You see I have often been pushing while some never pop the clutch and I have made 'minute' car incidents to keep you from dying in major cars wrecks, but I never got the glory, but I know you love me. When you smile at the lonely you have smiled at me. When you offer a hand to the soldier coming home you did that unto me. When you pushed the car for the man whose day had been weary, you did that unto me. It is not the recognition of man you should seek." You see we get back to a place where it seems that things do not matter, but God never forgets. Everything matters to Him.

Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:40

So many of us fly through life thinking we have the answers and all the while Jesus is pushing just waiting for us to make our move. Some of us never stop pushing with Him and some of us enjoy the free ride but all He is asking is for all of us to pop that clutch and say 'YES Lord! It is all about you and I am nothing without YOU.' God made us to be loving creatures. Every time I was willing to help those in need, it was just a reflection of the Lord, which is why I never got the glory for it. It was not mine to have. Reflecting now upon it, I can say we better know how much we love each other, BUT more importantly we need to know how much Jesus loves us! Start giving God some praise for His deeds in your life and watch the beauty of His might unfold around you. Lord, I am blessed to know you and I praise you for your protecting and loving hand. Father of creation, I want to thank you for cold winters and popped clutches, because without this revelation from you I would simply still be pushing with you and not letting go so that you could 'start' the ignition of my soul! You know what Lord, why don't I just let you drive for a while, you obviously have a better record than me!

For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name's sake lead me, and guide me. Psalms 31:3