My Introduction

September 10, 2011
Praise the Lord everyone! My name is Emily and
I never in a million years thought that I would be serving God today! I grew up in a small town in Kentucky and really everyone one knows everyone! I made memories to last a lifetime but also made some I wish I could forget. I had been mentally, physically, and sexually abused as a young child and this made transition hard while growing. I put all my energy and focus into writing as a kid and believe today this was a release for me. My grandparents had raised me for the majority of life which I count as a blessing because of my grandma, whom I call Mommy still to this day. She taught me to clean and cook and all those important things in life that you never see to be important until you become an adult. She was definitely the disciplinarian while Pelpa was more laid back! My brother and I knew that when Mommy said no, Pelpa would always say yes. We were snot-nosed, dirty faced, spoiled little brats! Life was much simpler then and I had some of the greatest memories of my life then.

As age came, so did pressures of this world. I had endured abuse. It began maybe at 8 years old and progressed until I was 14 years old. It was hard to overcome and even harder to face. I later moved in with my Mom who demanded I find friends to run around with. I did just that. I was 14 and lost my "innocence" and began hanging out on the streets. I was drinking and being promiscuous and then I began fighting with people and just causing a ruckus everywhere I went. I was failing in school and was enrolled in counseling.

Well I quit school the year we were to graduate and began smoking marijuana. I was 17 then and began to spend my time with the older crowd. I was lacking in self confidence and never seemed to be accepted by those my age so I thought I would go where I would feel belonged. I spent long nights out doing whatever blew my way and by the time I was 20 I was doing cocaine. I would smoke weed laced with opium and the buzz kept me from dealing with reality. I had absolutely no respect for myself and people knew this. I had men taking advantage of me and there were times I was so out of it I couldn't even speak to say no. I was abused in many ways by these guys and one guy later on had even beat me. This was not how I dreamed my life would be! My brothers and sisters and I fought a lot and family distanced themselves from me. Or maybe it was me separating from them. Either way I was a mess! I was a sick addict needing a way out but no one took time to lead me to that way. After years of drinking, drugging, and sleeping around something just snapped! I had all I could take.

I had been in counseling since I was 14 years old and was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder. I was on so many different medications and finally at 20 I told my Doctor that I was using illegal drugs and am tired of things being like it is. He gave me some other medicines and gave numbers to drug rehab centers. Was he crazy? I mean I just thought he could snap his fingers and it would all go away. I didn't want to be put in a rehab so I never called. I began taking pills off the street. By the time I was 23 I was doing meth. I was able to still work and do things normally, the drugs just kept me going. I was working at Waffle House and was sneaking to the bathroom just to hit my pipe. One night I was driving around and I began to see things around me. All these people who claimed to be my friend, were never around when I needed them. I was all alone and needed to find that way out.

A guy I dated came to me and said Emily leave! You don't belong here. This life is not for you. You are so much better than this! He really had me thinking. I will never forget the desperation in his eyes when he told me this. Did he really see something in me that everyone else couldn't see? Was he just too high to even know what he was saying? Now I know that it was a Divine intervention from God Himself! It was about 4 months later this friend had committed suicide which really hurt me. I was mad that it happened but I was more mad that he tells me to get away from this life but he couldn't!

During the same time of this transition a certain guy was coming to Waffle House on Saturdays. He was cute but I remember thinking 'man he sure has a big forehead'. He was a gentleman and was soft spoken. I was now at a point where I was battling a big change. I wanted to do good but still wanted to be the way I had been for so long. It was the ultimate test in life for me. So I began to pull away from drugs and leave men out of my life. I had refused to ever date again. That was the easy part compared to the drugs. At least it was until Chad came along. He would come in with his cousin and would order all kinds of food and left good tips, but after 3 months he had finally asked for my number. He didn't know about my past or the secret bathroom breaks I was taking. He just knew I was beautiful and for once in a long time I had began to feel it! This month we will be celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary and we have been together for five years now!

You see through all this God made the way for my escape. He had His hands on me and has protected me all this years. He brought Chad in my life just before my friend kills himself to comfort me. You see Chad didn't do drugs. He was a wonderful man full of energy and enjoyed all the things I use to love doing before I became so strung out. It was like God was giving me back a part of myself but far greater than I ever could be alone! I began losing my desire for drugs and some say this is impossible, but let me tell all things are possible with God!

Chad would ask questions like 'do you believe in God' and of course I would answer yes, but I had know idea who God was in all reality. Finally after dating a while he moves to my hometown and he began to minister more and more to me. He spoke about receiving the Holy Ghost and that people speak in tongues and how we should worship God. I thought he had lost his mind but hung around to get a good laugh. Curiosity began to spring forth and I was becoming a sponge that couldn't soak up enough of Gods Word. I had questions and was determined to get answers. I then became pregnant and the questions were eating at me because I knew my desire as a child was to raise my children in a Godly home. How was this to happen? We weren't in church and I had no idea what I believed? I wasn't in agreement with Chad on what he believed and the biggest difference was that he didn't believe in the trinity but I grew up in a few churches and that was what they taught. I was desperate and only God knew how bad. I thought it in my mind day and night. Chad said Jesus is God and that He is also the Son of God. I was utterly confused! I needed to know. So I began reading more of the Bible and asking God who He is.

We went to an Apostolic church in Hopkinsville KY and it was then that the greatest and most amazing thing would happen. I was sitting there being critical of everything around me and the preacher began to preach and he was good. I still wasn't hearing my answer though. Then randomly out of the blue the Elder Pastor of the church rose and said that he needed to stop service and everyone needed to pray. He said God was telling him that "someone here has been dealing with something for a while and today you will get your answer!". I was floored! What? How could this be? So he asked everyone to pray and opened the alter up for people and my mother in law grabbed my hand and literally pulled me to the alter. Ladies began to surround me and pray. Some laid hands on me and so I closed my eyes and began weeping as God began to move. I was praising him and asking him to forgive me of everything from my past. To help me become better and to lead me to Him. Show me God, show me who you are!! As audibly in my head as possible God spoke and I said, "I Am the I Am. I am He". Then I began to speak in a language I never learned. I spoke in tongues for the first time and this was the baptism of the Holy Ghost that Chad was telling me about. This was when I had fully surrendered my will to the Almighty God and I can't even begin to tell you the awe I was in! I had tapped into the supernatural and was now in the presence of God! It alone was miraculous and I began to feel freedom consume me. I went further and was baptized in Jesus name, which is the name above all names! When I came out of the water I was new. This spiritual birth changed me forever. Glory to God He set me free!

I can tell many things from that day on that will amaze even the unbeliever and I am thankful to God for seeing all the good in me when the whole world could only see the worst in me. We found a church here in our city and began to attend. Little did we know, that God had sent prophecy to the Pastor and his wife about us. A minister had told them that a couple would be coming that will come to help the church. That we were young and had two kids. Well I found my place where I belonged. The people were wonderful and greeted us with much kindness. Brother and Sister Mackowiak have been our mentors through our walk with God and have been a great joy to sit under. This was my place and my new home. After being in church a few months God delivered me from Bi-Polar disorder and I have been medication free for 3 years! Praise God! I am drug free and have been for 4 years! Hallelujah! I have been faithful to may husband our entire relationship and have found forgiveness along the way to be the greatest treasure to possess, next to love of course. I am not perfect in no way and I have struggles and am tempted just as everyone else but the truth I hang onto is, I am a miracle!

I am now at a point where I am seeking my purpose and will use this as a way to mix my love for writing and my love for God to inspire you! You'll never know what the day holds and what ideas I have but one thing I do know is, I have a lot to say! I will be posting a series of things from what has happened today, to miracles I have witnessed, and even things that are bothering me! I hope you enjoy and May the Lord Bless You.

Your Friend,
Sister Emily